Recently, I had the pleasure of watching Bill Maher rip apart Americans (such as those pictured above) that keep threatening to leave the United States if Donald Trump gets elected. As the popular comedian sarcastically points out, these are absurd, empty threats. When Trump won in 2016, no one left! These people didn’t move out because they know well that as Cat Stevens (aka Yusuf Islam) used to sing, it’s fine if you want to leave, “But just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware. Oh baby, baby, it’s wild world.”
Cat Stevens’s classic song seems very apropos nowadays. What with the Russian invasion of Ukraine, the Israel-Hamas conflict, uncontrolled migrations, and crazy political elections everywhere, it sure as hell is a wild world. In the case of Mexico, though, I think it’s more appropriate to evoke Barry McGuire’s protest song “The Eve of Destruction” as the song that best describes our present national situation.
If Trump wins, I look forward to seeing disappointed democrats move to Mexico. They’ll surely come looking for the warm reception that Mexicans are supposed to be famous for encapsulated in the well-known phrase, “Mi casa es su casa,” that evokes visions of a country of welcoming, friendly, smiling people full of goodwill and spirituality. A place where you can leave a peaceful life. But they’ll quickly find out that Mexico is a hot-mess express just like the one in which the US currently finds itself, perhaps even more messy. Let me enumerate some of the issues that those anti-Trumpers may want to know about before making a run for the border, if the Orange Menace gets back into the White House.
First, Mexico is as polarized as the US because we have a president, Andrés Manuel López Obrador (AMLO) who demands that everyone agree with his policies. If you don’t, then you’re a conservative neoliberal, which means you’re a traitor to the country. Thus, the nation is deeply divided into AMLOvers and AMLO-haters. No matter on which side you’re on, Mexicans are at each other’s throats, unfriending friends on social media, attacking perceived enemies with endless memes, and avoiding family members they disagree with politically. Sounds familiar, huh?
Second, there are two parallel governments in Mexico: The Constitutional government and the Narco government run by the cartels. According to the United States Northern Command, up to 35 percent of the country is under the domination of drug lords. López Obrador has willingly shared power with these outlaw groups and done everything to keep the peace with them by sending them lots of abrazos and nada de balazos.
Third, like Trump, López Obrador has perfected the art of lying. His followers know this and don’t care one bit because he has convinced them that he is fighting the evil enemies stacked against all good Mexicans (read: his blind followers), even though these enemies are mostly quixotic windmills in his mind. But who cares if the president is a liar as long as he puts those Pinocchio lies at the service of the nation.
Fourth, the Presidente has also taken another page from the Tasmanian Orange Devil by setting up the press as the enemy of the people. He demonizes journalists at every turn and has little sympathy for the dozens who have been killed and continue to be murdered across Mexico. Unless they write for La Jornada, AMLO considers journalists as naysayers that are undermining his administration. Like Trump, he deflects his critics by accusing them of creating fake news which he refutes by claiming (falsely, of course) that he has “otros datos,” alternative facts, that contradict his enemies’ assertions, but he never shares them.
Fifth, Mexican politics are a joke. We have a multiparty system that from the outside looks very democratic. From the inside, though, it’s a rotten swamp. Politicians have no principles or loyalty and are willing to change parties like free-agent players change teams in the sports world. They’re always following the money. In fact, López Obrador’s party, Morena, which is now in power, is an olla podrida (a rotten pot) made up of the worse politicians from the many parties that make up the Mexican political spectrum: PRI, PAN, PRD, PV, and PT.
Sixth, as in the US, Mexican politicians of every ilk claim that if their opponents win, Democracy is over. That’s right. The winners will chuck out the Constitution and set up a Dictatorship (of the Idiots, I would say). I doubt this will be the case, but López Obrador and his followers are intent on dismantling democratic institutions to suit their political needs.
Seventh, the President believes he has eradicated corruption in Mexico. In his mind, the political harpies of his party have miraculously converted into noble, honest servants of the nation, even though they have a long history of stealing and defrauding the country. He’s blind to the fact that for the past five years his lackies and even his family members have continued the corrupt dealings for which Mexico is so well-known. La mordida still rules!
Eighth, violence is rampant throughout the country, yet the President keeps telling us que “todo está bien”. There have been over 180,000 deaths during his administration and will likely total 200,000 by the end of his term. By some estimates there are 140,000 disappeared, including men, women and children. Many of the latter trapped in sex trafficking rings. It’s well-known that 95% of these crimes go unpunished. But when asked about these horrible statistics, AMLO just smiles like Alfred E. Newman, the mascot from Mad Magazine, and repeats his trademark remark, “What, me worry?” No way, everything is fine and dandy.
Ninth, every day in Mexico, 11 women are killed just because they’re women. On International Women’s Day, hundreds of thousands come out to protest in cities across the country. They raise their voices to high heaven, but no one hears them. The government pays some lip service and does nothing. The day after the protests, women go back to their grim reality, waiting to see who will be the 11 unlucky women sacrificed daily to the Mexican Minotaur. Or if they’re lucky, they’ll only receive a bloody beating, or get acid thrown on their faces to deform them by their boyfriends and husbands.
Tenth, the Mexican education system is in shambles. According to the OECD, it’s one of the worst systems in the world. López Obrador has reacted to this mess by handing over the education of our young to the Mafia de la Educación, comprised of the two national teachers’ unions: SNTE and CNTE that have damaged the minds of several generations of Mexicans, turning them into ignorant borregos (sheep) that will follow blindly our Great Leader in turn.
Eleventh, one of the best kept secrets in Mexico is our race problem. Most Mexicans only appreciate Indigenous people in Mexico if they’re made of stone and exhibited in museums. They don’t want much to do with the live ones, even if they’re selling arts and crafts! That’s for foreigners. There are also two and a half million Afro-Mexicans among us, but they continue to exist in invisibility, unacknowledged by the majority of Mexican who still believe in the myth that Mexico is a mestizo (mixed) nation where race doesn’t exist. That’s what I call the ideology of the Mexican White Supremacy! lol.
Twelfth, Mexico is a xenophobic country, just as bad or worse than the US. Central American immigrants have always known Mexico as the hell they have to cross before they get to heaven, the USA. They are kidnapped, trafficked, abused and killed by the cartels, aided and abetted by government officials. The bodies of tens of thousands of immigrants are buried throughout the country in clandestine mass narcograves. But don’t go searching for the dead or you might end up joining them, assassinated without the government caring about it one bit. This virulent xenophobia is now also directed at Americans. The so-called expats that have recently arrived have felt this new anti-Americanism in the big cities. These nationalist Mexicans want your dollars and your culture, but not you.
So, if Trump wins in November and you’re one of the disgruntled Democrats considering leaving the US and making Mexico your new abode, beware that our country is also in a socio-political quagmire. But in case you’re still interested in jumping the border, I suggest you keep to the beach towns of Cabo San Lucas, Puerto Vallarta or Cancún, which are pretty much part of the US already. And avoid places like Mexico City. Otherwise, you might find that the old ceramic plate that used to adorn our doors stating, “Mi casa es su casa,” has been replaced with another that says: Yankee go home!
Postcards From a PostMexican 
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