Lately, there was a big deal made about the fact that Tom Brady’s football jersey, which he wore at the Super Bowl LI, was found in Mexico. It seems a Mexican national who happens to be a huge American football fanatic and who had a press pass, somehow got his hands on the jersey and brought it here to our country. Among the many crazy things written was the following romance (a corrido by a fancy name). I’m presenting it to you exactly as I found the text in Spanish with a rough, very rough, and literal English translation. Rhymes, puns, meter, it all gets lost, but then, all translations are in their own way bad. If you overlook this defect, you might get a chuckle or two when you read about the height which American football mania has attained in Mexico.
Romance de un jersey maldito
Era un cinco de febrero It was on February fifth
Día de la Constitución, Day of the Constitution,
cuando los Patriots y Falcons When the Patriots and the Falcons
unieron a la nación. Brought together the nation.
Tom Brady salió luciendo Tom Brady came out flashing
su jersey de mariscal His quarterback football jersey
sin saber que esa noche Not knowing that later that night
se lo iban a secuestrar. It would be a kidnap victim.
La lucha en la contienda The game was hard-fought and
fue dura pero al final Difficult but at the final whistle
los Patriots se le impusieron The Patriots had overcome
a su aguerrido rival. Its formidable opposition.
Mientras la gente gritaba While the people were yelling
con alegría general, In general overjoy
Mauricio Ortega Camberos Mauricio Ortega Camberos
planeaba hacer su mal. Was planning his evil deed.
Se coló entre reporteros He mixed among the reporters
de la tele y de la radio, From television and radio
se agandayó el jersey Got a hold of the jersey
y se salió del estadio. And quickly left the stadium.
Fue la tecnología It was but technology
que delató el delito, That accused him of the crime,
los Rangers de Texas dicen The Texas Rangers went after him
vamos por él hasta México. Into the heart of Mexico.
Encontraron el jersey There they found the football jersey
en la casa del ladrón In the house of the thief
con un casco de los Broncos Along with a Bronco’s helmet
que mucha sorpresa causó. No one expected to see.
Mauricio no estaba en casa Mauricio wasn’t at home
cuando los Rangers llegaron, When the Rangers arrived.
se llevaron el jersey The football jersey they took
que enseguida repatriaron. And repatriated immediately.
Ya lo tienen en Foxborough, It is now in Foxborough,
una prenda bien amada. A garment much beloved.
Tom Brady luce contento Tom Brady is happy, smiling,
de rencor no tiene nada. In his heart holds no grudge.
Hay quien dice que fetiches Some say that many Mexicans
tenemos los mexicanos Have a fetishist mind
cuando se trata de fútbol When it comes to football
specially Americano. Especially the American kind.
Nadie roba camisetas No one steals any t-shirts
de Vela o de Chicharito Of Vela and Chicharito
pero si se trata del gringo But if it has to do with Americans
tengan mucho cuidadito. They better be very careful.
Dicen que Trump no nos quiere They say Trump doesn’t like us
por mala fama que tenemos, Because of our bad reputation,
rapers y criminales y Nothing but rapers and criminals
ladrones también seremos. Now they’ll add thieves to our record.
Por eso quieren levantar That’s why they want to build
un gran muro en el desierto A beautiful wall at the border
para sentirse seguros So they can be safe in their homes
aunque de esto nada es cierto. Though none of this is true.
Pero quien es el peor ladrón But who is the biggest thief
entre las dos democracias, Among the two neighbor democracies,
nosotros les robamos un trapo We stole from them but a rag
ellos mitad de la patria. They took from us half our nation.
Nosotros les devolvimos We returned to them
ese pedazo de tela, The piece of cloth that was stolen.
ellos de nuestra patria nada, Our land they never returned,
no volveremos a verla. ` We’ll never see it again.